I love my Verdict boots from Skechers.
Sturdy. Comfy. Wide-toed. Stylish. Inexpensive. Waterproof. Padded. Leather (and they remind me of Final Fantasy VII.) It's one of my favorite purchases ever. Great for any weather.
I also love going for walks.
The beauty of nature has a way of calming the soul. Like opening the window to a dusty room, fresh air and sunlight can reinvigorate the mind, de-stress the body, and brighten the soul.
Good boots make good walks. It's a perfect match.
Only one problem: I'm extremely flat footed!
A few weeks ago I injured myself in dramatic fashion. I tried to close the living room window in the middle of a messy floor. I reached forward and my right toe stretched backwards further than normal. The next day my foot was sore.
And then it got worse.
The throbbing, pulsing pain felt like jolts that shocked my big toe. It's as if thousands of sharp needles drenched in ice water poked my bones. The pain escalated from 5/10 to 11/10 by nightfall. I could not sleep. I had to elevate my foot in various positions using stacks of pillows just to ease the aggravation. It worked for a little while, until the jolts set in again. Then I had to reposition myself again. And again. And again. At one point I even held my right leg up using my right hand as if to cross my legs mid-air just to achieve some semblance of sleep. The pain was unbearable.
Thanks to ice packs, Motrin, and my lovely wife who patiently took care of me, I eventually began limping across the room by Day Five. (It took me about fifteen minutes just to get to the bathroom. I had to be pre-emptive. #masteredmateria)
By Day Nine I was able to walk again, albeit painfully. By Day Twelve I was able to walk outside - very, very slowly.
One sensitive hurting toe affected my whole mobility.
One aching member of my body required the undivided attention from the rest of my body.
I wonder if families work the same way.
You see, when a family member is hurting, grieving - suffering - and that pain is brushed aside by that person or by the rest of the family, ignored and unaddressed, what happens is that the pain doesn't go away. No, it simply gets aggravated. Pain is a call for attention and action. When the pain is asking for attention and the response given is, "Just ignore it" or "That's just how she is" or "He'll be fine", the aggravation grows worse. Now imagine that same pain multiplied and spread across various areas of family life, all of which manifests its own version of aggravation, and are all willfully ignored year after year, decade after decade by the family itself. What do you think will happen to that family? What happens to that family is exactly what happened to me: injury.
The family becomes immobilized spiritually, relationally, or financially.
The family cannot move forward.
The family is injured.
The family is divided.
The family needs to heal.
But how do you heal a broken family?
I suppose that's the million dollar question.
Well, for starters, you can't heal a problem that doesn't exist.
In other words, if you keep ignoring the signs, even God can't convince you to see a doctor.
The worse thing - and I mean, the absolute worse thing - a sickly person can do is to lie to himself and pretend he's not sick.
Sin is a sickness. Sin is a disease.
And deceit feeds the disease.
Self-deception leads to Self-destruction.
Lying is the language of Satan, but honesty is the language of Heaven.
Honesty brings healing.
"Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance." -Jesus Christ
Only the honest can repent of their sins because only the honest can admit their sins.
The Sacrament of Confession in the Orthodox Church comes to mind.
Sin is a sickness, a spiritual disease that affects the mind, body, and soul. And sin spreads through deception. The more I lie, the more I die. The more I lie, the further I am from Christ. Living a lie separates me from Christ.
There are many cures for this illness, but none of them happen without confession.
Confession is a Sacrament of the Eastern Orthodox Church. By confessing my sins before God in the presence of my priest, I soften my heart to receive mercy and forgiveness. Through the power of confession, I bring to light the sickness in the dark. Guilt loses its grip and shame is washed away. Sin is no longer my master because fear can no longer enslave me through my secrets.
I am only as sick as my secrets.
And family secrets can kill family members.
Seeing a therapist or sharing with a trustworthy friend has similar effects, but confession to God before a priest heals the heart in mysterious ways. Confession reinforces honesty. And honesty, healing.
So, I must wrestle with my honesty on a daily basis so I can walk in my healing. Honesty helps me to walk in the truth.
In my experience, honesty and truth are not the same thing. Truth is something like, God. Truth is Divine. Truth is Eternal. Truth heals. God is truth, and the truth sets me free.
Honesty is how I make conscious contact with truth.
Honesty is how I encounter God. I cannot encounter God by being dishonest. The very act of dishonesty is a turning away from God. Honesty helps me to face the light again.
I must grow in honesty because honesty is how I grow in spirit and in truth.
Honesty cuts through denial.
A person in denial has denied their healing.
Like a suffering patient who stubbornly refuses to listen to his doctor, God cannot heal such a person either.
Honesty cuts through the illusion that I am not sick - that I am not a sinner.
If my toe is not injured, then why am I in severe pain?
If I am not a sinner, then why do I sin?
Only honest people recover. Honesty is the beginning of all healing.
One hurting toe immobilized my whole body.
One wounded family member can divide the whole family.
One divided family can divide a whole society.
Well, I don't have the power to heal an entire society, and I can't heal family members with generational wounds from the family tree, but maybe - if I'm being completely honest - maybe I can seek healing for one person: me.
Just like taking the time to heal my toe, there is great wisdom in focusing on my own healing journey.
I'm severely flat footed. It's my responsibility to give careful attention to the needs of my feet.
Good boots make good walks.
In the same way, I am a sinner in need of grace and mercy. I must give careful attention to my needs spiritually, emotionally and physically, to live within my intentions, to remain in the spirit of repentance, and to obey the instructions of the Great Physician.
Only then can I stay healed - and enjoy my morning walks.
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